Sain's Love Potion
by Sami Kurama's Stalker
Summary: Sain makes a love potion for the ladies, and Matthew continues to spy on him, for every girl he gives the potion to. Chaos results! And I finally got off my lazy butt and updated!
1. The Concoction

**Sain: Ah, This is going to be the best story yet!**

**Me: Shut up. There CAN be some downsides...**

**Sain: Like what?**

**Me: Like the guilt of hitting an innocent bystander over the head with a frying pan.**

**Sain: Actually that was pretty fun.**

**Me: Ummm...Read & Review!**

* * *

Sain was making a strange concoction in the cooking tent. The day's cook, Kent, walked in. He sniffed the air.

"Sain, what is that foul odor?" he asked, holding his nose.

"I'm making a potion," Sain said without turning around.

"Well, it smells awful! Warn people!"

"Pfft."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, mother." Sain said. Kent got some supplies and a pot. He filled it with water and chopped up some ingredients. He put them in the pot and walked out to hang it over a flame.

Sain looked at the recipe. 'A pinch of bottled light magic.' _What the hell? _Sain thought. _Where am I going to get bottled magic? Wait, Serra is a bishop. She can help me!_

Sain saw Serra talking to Erk. He apparently wasn't listening. He was covering his ears.

"Serra!" he shouted proudly. "I need the aid of your magic!"

"Doesn't everyone?" Serra asked.

"Follow me." he led Serra to the tent while Erk bolted away.

"Omigod!" Serra said as she walked in. "What is that SMELL?"

"Uhhhhh....soup?"

"Good enough for me. Whaddaya need?"

Sain held out a bottle. "I need you to fill this with light magic. It will enlighten the eater and make them happy..."

"Oh, okay!" She began to chant a spell, and a burst of magic came out of her hands and into the bottle. Sain closed the bottle.

"Thank you! You can go back to Erk now."

"Okay. Oh Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!"

"_Oh no!"_ Erk yelled. Sain poured the magic into the potion. He then put in a little whiskey, some dandelion puffs, some powdered, dry sage leaves, spices, and Hannah the fortune teller's own special potion. Suddenly a heart-shaped cloud of smoke began to swirl around Sain. He heard a whispery wind as the room began to glow a pinkish color. Sain was able to catch a glimpse of the counter to see that he had forgotten an ingredient. He was beginning to grow numb. He reached over to grab some medicine and poured a little into the potion. All the smoke dissipated and Sain collapsed. Erk saw what happened and went inside the tent to see what exactly was going on, and what was cooking.

"Uhhhh....Sain?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

Sain opened his eyes. He was very dizzy, and he felt a little nauseous. He tried his hardest to get up but his legs were wobbly. He was beginning to come to.

Luckily, Erk slung Sain's arm over his shoulder. Sain, however, released his arm but he could keep his balance. Erk walked over to the recipe and looked at it:

**Madama's Love potion**

**You will need:**

**Water, crushed dried sage leaves, whiskey or champagne, a vulnerary or other medicinal solution, dandelion puffs, spices and sugar for flavor, a special potion (see page 87), bottled light magic, a large pot, **

**Fill the pot with plenty of water. Put in all the ingredients ONE AT A TIME. Stir very thoroughly until well mixed. Pour into a bottle or glass. The potion should be a bright pink. Serve to the object of your affection.**

"What?" Erk asked. Sain gasped. He grabbed a frying pan off a hook. **_WHACK!!_** He smacked Erk upside the head with it. He pushed Erk out of the tent. His unconcious body lay on the ground. Serra walked over to him.

"ERK!" she screamed. "NO SLEEPING!"

"Ohhhhhhhh...."

"You don't sound so good. I'll take you to the healer's tent."

"Ohhhhhhhh...."

"Whew," Sain said. He poured the potion into about a dozen bottles. He grabbed two and walked out.

"Now," he said to himself, who shall I get today? Nino? Too young. Rebecca? I try too hard. Fiora? Perfect!

"Fiora!" He shouted as he ran towards Fiora. She sighed.

"What is it, Sain?" she asked.

"Would you like a drink?" he gave her a bottle.

"Well, yes, I am quite parched..." she popped the bottle open and drank some. "Why aren't you drinking any?"

"I'm not thirsty," Sain said with a sly smirk. Fiora blinked and her eyes were glowing pink. She blinked again and her eyes returned to normal. She gave Sain a wide grin.

"I never noticed how charming you were..." she said happily. Sain smiled.

"Why thank you," he said in a cheery tone. Unfortunately, Matthew could hear every.single.word of it. He snickered slyly and watched Sain kiss Fiora and she returned the favor.

Matthew ran off to his tent after scribbling some notes and doodling something on a piece of parchment. He snickered as he scampered away.

* * *

**Sain: Awww, and it was getting good!**

**Canas: Well, Sam's not here now...apparently, ahe's off doing business....**

**Erk: Duh.**

**Kent: I guess I have her speaking duty. Read and review! **


	2. Cheating and Blackmailing

**Sain: Yay! We shall continue!**

**Me; whatever.**

**Erk: Oh my head...**

**Kent: What happened to Erk?**

**Me: Sain hit him over the head with a frying pan last chapter.**

**Kent: I KNEW I heard something yesterday....**

**Me: Anyway...Read and review!**

* * *

As Sain and Fiora were off somewhere, Matthew was spying on them.

**Matthew's POV**

Sain: So, your sisters seem nice...

Fiora: Florina's nice but Farina...Ugh! -still grinning with googly eyes-

Sain: Actually, Farina is also quite beautiful....

Fiora: -gets mad-Oh really?

Sain: Uh-I mean not as beautiful as _you, _my love!

Matthew: -snickers behind a bush-

Fiora: -grins-

Oh my God! This was unconcieveable! This was _hilarious!!_ I thought Fiora hated Sain! It must have been the work of hypnosis. So I decided to get a closer look by coming out.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

I was about to ask Fiora a--_ahem_--certain favor, when suddenly Matthew came out of the bushes and scared the crap out of me!

"Matthew!" I yelled. 'What the hell are you doing??"

Matthew just smirked at me. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation."

"What?? Don't tell me you've joined Erk and Lucius in eavesdropping."

"Um, Sain?"

"What???"

"I'm a _spy._ I thimk I'm _meant _to eavesdrop."

"You were a spy for Lord Uther. You're not anymore."

"Um, Sain?" Fiora said. I turned around. "Are we going to dinner together?"

"Just a moment, my lovely lady!"

"Damn!"

I turned back around but Matthew was gone! So, I decided to just take Fiora up back to camp to get dinner.

So while I was serving myself Kent's soup, I noticed Fiora wasn't by my side anymore.

"_Damn!_" I yelled. I heard young Nino gasping and looking at me with big wide eyes.

"Uhhhh....sorry," I said before making a mad dash.

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

Heh. Sain will never be able to find me....I'm in Fiora's tent. I took her while Sain was serving his dinner.

Me: So, how did you fall in love with Sain?

Fiora: Well, he gave me an odd-looking bottle of Ilian rum, it looked like it was old or something, and now he's my goal in life...

Me: Mm-hm, and how long ago was this?

Fiora: About an hour or two ago.

Me: It should wear off by tomorrow.

Fiora: So, I'm going to find Sain...

Me: -grabs Fiora's arm- You're not going anywhere. I want to do a little experiment....

Fiora: Experiment?

Me: I want to see if you can go without Sain for the rest of the day.

Fiora: ?

* * *

**Sain's POV**

For God's sake! I can't find her! I'm thinking Farina or Florina may have taken her, and I can see Florina, so I'll go ask her.

"Florina?"

"Eeep!! Oh, H-hello, Sain..."

"Do not be shy, beauteous Florina! I just want to ask you a question!"

"Uh, um, okay..."

"Have you seen your sister?"

"Uhm..which o-one?"

"The wonderous Fiora."

"O-oh, yes! I-I mean, I saw her w-with M-Matthew...."

"Did you see where he went?"

"N-no!"

"Well, you've been a big help. Thank you!" and I ran off to find Matthew. I checked my own tent. He wasn't there. So, I decided to check his tent. Still wasn't there.

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

Oh crap. I see Sain coming. Time to run.

"Come on Fiora!" I said. I grabbed her hand and ran off. I jumped up into a tree, Fiora still with me. Hopefully Sain still won't find us.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

Well, I can't find Fiora so I'm off to get another potion. I grabbed one of the bottles with pink potion and ran off. Anyway, the potion was beginning to wear off. So I'll give it to...Farina? Yes! I walked over to her.

"Hello, Farina!"

"Oh, hello, Sain."

"Would you like a drink?"

"Yes, I haven't had anything to drink for a while."

"Here."

"Thank you."

Yes! Then, she started to get all googly-eyed. She had a weird grin on her face.

"I think I love you,' she said kind of groggily.

* * *

**Matth****ew's POV**

Crap! Now he's giving the so-called 'Ilian rum' to Fiora's sister, Farina! This can't be good!

I can hear them talking:

Sain: So, um, beautiful Farina, would you like to spend some time in my tent tonight?

Farina: sure...

Sain: Great!

Farina: -googly eyes-

Sain: I'll see you tonight! Oh, and here's some more po- I mean, rum!

Farina: Okay... -takes bottle-

Ugh...he sickens me. So I came out to talk to him.

Me: -smirk- I heard that and i know what you're gonna do.

Sain: Uh, wha-?

Me: So...If you give Fiora to me, I'll let you go....

Sain: And if I don't...?

Me: -takes out the Killing Edge- I'll tell her what you want to do, and I'll tell Fiora....

Sain: Why do want Fiora, anyway?

Me: Do you want Fiora or Farina?

Sain: I'd rather have Farina.

Me: So Fiora's mine.

Sain: And what are you going to tell fiora?

Me: That you and Farina are gonna have-

Sain: FINE! FINE! You can have Fiora!

Me: -puts away Killing Edge- Good. Now, you and Farina can have-

Sain: Yeah, that's nice gotta go! -Leaves-

I love doing that.

* * *

**Me: Heh heh....**

**Sain: You had Matthew BLACKMAIL me??**

**Me: Almost.**

**Kent: Sain, you better watch yourself. **

**Erk: -gets up- So, what _are _you and Fiora gonna have?**

**Sain: We're gonna have-**

**Me: _Uhhh, read and review!!_**


	3. Dinner at the Inn

**

* * *

Me: Yay! I got reviews!**

**Sain: Here they are:**

**Lemurian**

_**Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Please continue the story.**_

**timmycheese**

_**poor erk  
funny i read chap 2 aswell but im just gonna review once to save space**_

**Ragnarok-Legend**

_**This is a very dirty story I must say... but I'm not really complaining because I want to see what happens next!  
See you and your muses next time round!  
Ragnarok-Legend.**_

**Kent: Thanks to all who reviewed!**

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

Okay...I was standing outside Sain's tent tonight, and, well, I saw things that weren't exactly pretty, and what I heard...ugh, it was worse. I could see Farina drink Sain's rum, and she got all googly again. This is what I heard:

Sain: -doing disturbing things-

Farina: -doing disturbing things back to Sain-

Me: Ugh... -shudders-

Farina: Oh, Sain, I'm having so much FUN! -drinks rum-

Sain: Why yes, I'm glad you feel that way.

Me: Yeah right!

Sain: Wait, I think I hear something outside.

Me: Leaving time. -runs-

And that's just about all I (never) wanted to see.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

While Farina and I were....having fun....I heard a noise outside, so I went out to check. No one was there. So, Farina and I did what we were doing before. I'm glad I was finally able to get a girl....

* * *

**The next day, Farina's POV**

* * *

Oh...I think I have a hangover....but I didn't do any drinking last night! All I remember is doing something with Sain. And I rather not mention it. Anyway, I should have charged him! Oh, I better go to the healer's tent.

When I got there, I asked Pricilla if she could heal me before we left. She said sorry, but we don't have any time. Stupid.

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

Well, now we're on our way to Bern Manse. I looked at Sain, and he had the Ilian rum in his pack.Suddenly a storm began to brew, so we decided to stay at the inn. Oh, and if you're wondering about Fiora, I helped her out of the tree before we left, and now she and Farina have hangovers. Neither of them remember yesterday. Now we're checked in at the inn and oh no, Sain is giving Farina more rum. He, Farina and I are sharing a room and Farina and Sain are getting comfortable. They don't even know I'm here, and they worked up a conversaion:

Sain: Farina, would you like to take a walk with me?

Farina: I would love to, but it's raining!

Sain: Oh. Yeah, I forgot about that. But it's just you and me now, so....

Me: Ahem!

Sain: Ummm...what's your point?

Me: What did you??- never mind.

Farina: Let's go, Sain. A little rain won't stop us!

For crying out loud, he's cheating! And that's not right! It's the biggest unwritten rule!!

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

Well, Matthew and Farina and I are sharing a room, so Farina and I are going on a rainy walk. It wasn't raining hard, but we were still wet when we came in. So, we need to find a way to dry off. I need to ask Matthew....

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

I know how to piss Sain off... Steal his rum! I looked in his back and saw about 10 bottles. So I took them all and put them in my pack. I opened one of the bottles and took a whiff. Ugh, disgusting! How could Farina stand to drink this stuff, let alone smell it? Uh oh, I hear footsteps. I quickly tied my pack shut and lay down on one of the beds.

Sain: Farina, you know how to satrt a conversation!

Farina: Thank you. You sure know how to flatter a lady!

Sain: Well, we should be getting to dinner. Matthew, would you like to accompany us?

I thought for a moment. This would be the perfect way for me to find out what Sain was up to. But I wasn't really that hungry....But if i wait, I won't be able to see what Farina does! So I told him my response.

Me: Sure.

Sain: Well get up and come on!

Perfect.

* * *

**Sain: I hate cliffhangers.**

**Erk: Wow, sucks for you.**

**Sain: -glares-**

**Me: Anyway...R&R!**


	4. Matthew Cusses Sain out

**Me: Too bad. No review responses.**

**Erk: Why not??**

**Me: It takes too long. But many thanks to all that reviewed!!!**

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

Now they're taking me to dinner and I'm going to brew up a conversation. Now that we've ordered, time to work my magic.

"So...do you have some knid of pinkish-rum, Sain?"

Sain flinched.

"I- urm, I-I, that is..."

"I'm kidding!!"

"Whew..."

"Here's your dinner."

I ate my dinner politely but quickly...I was starving because I skipped breakfast to spy on Sain. Farina only took a few bites because she was all googly at Sain.

She was smiling and staring at Sain.

"Uh...Farina?" he asked. "You haven't eaten anything."

She was still all googly.

"...--googly--"

"Farina, aren't you hungry?"

Suddenly Farina blinked and shook her head ferociously. "My head...what the hell did I drink??"

"Ilian rum," I explained.

"Next time someone wants me to drink Ilian rum, slap me and the dude giving it to me!!"

Hehe.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

Oh no! The potion wore off!! Now she's got the worst "hangover" ever. And she's going to slap whoever wants her to drink it!! Damnit!

Matthew's laughing his head off now. Is he up to something or, well, something?

* * *

**Farina's POV**

* * *

O my fricking GOD! I have another hangover! I am NEVER having Ilian rum again except on holidays. A solemn vow.

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

AAHAHHAHAAHAHA!! That's what I'm saying. Now Farina is sharing a room and she doesn't want to!! HA I say! HA!

Oh no. Sain just walked in. Well, at least he hasn't had a day at the beach. HA again!

He looked at me with a glare. "You know don't you?"

"Me? No of course not!"

He glared at me again.

"Aw ya caught me."

"Damn right!"

"And I thought you were a perverted dumbass."

He looked at me, obviously shocked. I cussed him out for no good reason. HA once more!

"God what is your PROBLEM!!"

"Well last night you had-"

"WOULD YOU STOP!"

"Hehehehehehehehehehe..."

"Damn you!"

"Right back at ya."

"You...you... you're such an ass!"

And he stormed out.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

AUGH!! Matthew is such an asshole!! I can't believe him! Well, I'm getting tired. Time for bed.

* * *

**The next day, Sain's POV**

* * *

Well, we're on the road again and I'm trying to find my potions....WHAT?? I CAN'T FIND THEM! NOOO!!

"Matthew, have you seen my 'rum'?"

"Huh? Nope. Wait, what 'rum'?"

"Uhhh...never mind."

* * *

**Me: Well, that's all for now.**

**Canas: Well, that was shorter.**

**Kent: I agree.**

**Sain: WHERE ARE THE FRICKIN' POTIONS!!!**

**Me: I dunno. Anyway, keep reviewing!!!!**


	5. Bloody horses and The First Climactic Ba...

**Me: No new reviews. But I'm off for the weekend.**

**Sain: Well that's good.**

**  
Hakura: Soooo....what's gonna happen? Tell me!**

**Erk: My head still hurts....**

**Canas: But you got whacked upside the head 3 chapters ago.**

**Erk: Does that really matter??**

**Hakura: Ooh! Man catfight!**

**Me: Uhhh... R&R!!!**

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

I can't find the flippin' potions! I can't find them! No more girls! No more s- I mean, favors!! Oh, and Matthew claims he has NOTHING to do with it.

Well, I'm sure SOMEONE knows...maybe Sam! She knows just about everything there is to know about this camp.

"Hey, Sam?..."

"No."

"But---"

"NO."

"Just--"

"NO!!"

"Listen-"

"GO AWAY."

"Please-"

"SAIN. LEAVE.ME.ALONE."

"Just-"

"HECTOR, PLEASE COME HERE."

"SAM, LISTEN TO--"

"HECTOR!!!"

"What do you want??"

"Could you pleeeeease tell Sain to buzz off? I've tried, one, two....5 times."

"And you counted, why?..." Hector raised an eyebrow.

"Reference."

"Well Sain, she's practically the leader of this army. You've got to listen to her."

"But-"

"Sain."

"But-"

"_Sain._"

"Please, milord, just let me-"

"Sain."

"Eliwood!" Sam called. She seemed very angry as Eliwood walked over.

"Hector? Sam? Sain? What's going on here?"

"Sain won't stop _antagonizing _me."

"And..." Hector poked me, "he won't listen to me either."

"Well, what does he want?"

"What does he want...?"

"You mean you don't know what he wants to ask?"

"See??"

I could hear some snickering a few feet away. So could Sam, Hector and Eliwood. I walked over to the nearby bushes and looked in them to see...

"_Matthew??!"_

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

Well, they finally caught me.

"Aw, ya caught me," I said with a sly smirk.

"Don't you give me that again!!"

"'Again?''' asked Eliwood.

"Yes, again!! He did that to me in the inn!"

Suddenly I felt a rush of wind above my head. I looked up to see a sword, obviously a Steel Blade. I felt dizzy.

"Uh oh," I murmured. I jumped up, pulled out my killing edge and gave the cavelier a good long bloody slash on the back of his neck.

"Guys!!" Lyn came running over when she saw the bloody dead cavelier and just said, "never mind."

Then she gasped and I could feel a sharp pain through my arm. When I hit the ground, I looked over at my arm. A lance was pierced right throught my right arm! I squinted my eyes. Then they pulled it out, and there was even more pain and blood. I was about to faint, and I was very dizzy.

"Haaaah..." I gasped. Suddenly I could myself being pulled awa from the soldier that was obviously avenging the other's death. Then I went unconcious.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

Now i feel sorry for Matthew. He was stabbed right in the arm by a soldier, and now Hector's dragging him to the healer's tent where he'll see...

**Dun-dun-DUN**

_Serra._

Well, sucks to be him!

* * *

**Hector's POV**

* * *

Now I'm dragging Matthew off to the blasted healers tent. He's unconcious, and I had a feeling he was going to be that way for a while.

So we're in the tent and I see Pricilla and she gasped at the sight of Matthew.

"What happened?????"

"Ohh..."

"Matthew? Can-you-see-anything?"

"I...I...It's all....blurry...:

"How many fingers am I holding up?"  
  
"Pricilla...calm down."

"But-"

"Honestly, what is it with people and listening to their leaders?"

"Lord Hector, you don't understand!"

"I understand perfectly."

"But he's seriously injured!"

"I know."

"So, he needs to rest!"

"Fine!" I placed Matthew onto the nearest cot, and I could hear yelling outside following by a dull THUD.

"Ummmm, I gotta go."

"Wait, Lord Hector!"

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

* * *

Owww...I woke up and saw my arm again. It wasn't bandaged, but I could see Pricilla walking over with some. Finally.

"You alright?"

"I've been better."

"well, it will stop soon."

When she got finished, I got back up and started outside.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going back out to fight."

"You shouldn't."

"Well, if I get hurt then too bad for me."

"Well, I guess I can't stop you."

"Well then I'll see ya later."

"Yes..."

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

Damn, where are all these reinforcements coming from!

Well, it can't get any worse.

Suddenly I could hear a loud whine...it was my horse! I got off it and it collapsed. I looked at his leg. Oh no! It had a wound that cut down all the way to the bone!

"Here, I'll get you out of here."

My horse yelled again. It stood up. I held on to its reins and ran it out of the battlefield.

"I guess I'll just have to complete this battle on foot."

So I took my horse to the tents. Luckily, Pricilla was a valkyrie and could defend my horse while I went to battle.

I'll worry about my potions later....or someone could find them. I'll check everyone's bags before I go out to battle again....

* * *

**Me: Well, that's it for now. Tonight I'm going trick-or-treating.**

**Erk: Shouldn't you be giving out the candy this year?**

**Me: This is my last year. Anyway, R&R!**


	6. The Next Victim!

**Me: I haven't updated for a while. Sorry.**

**Erk: It's only been 2 days.**

**Me: Who asked you.**

**Erk: --DEATH GLARE--**

**Me: --Death glare and the anime thunder-eye thing--**

**Sain: Read and review.**

* * *

**Sain's POV**

Okay, I'm resting and rummaging through everyone's bags checking for potion. I'm looking through Matthew's bag, and I find potion....only 8 of 10 bottles! I can't believe it! No, wait, all 10 are there. I grabbed them and ran to my tent and put them in my sack. Then I took my horse to the healer's tent.

Okay, now I'm running back to battle. I grabbed my lance and began to slash away.

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

Well, I'm running to battle again, Killing Edge in hand. I see Sain on foot. That's strange... Well, anyway, I managed to kill a few men and they all retreated. Finally. They were obnoxious.

Now I'm sharing a tent with Lucius. I'm just making smart comments at him.

"Soooo...who's mistook you for a woman?"

"I don't want to answer that."

"Well, has anyone accused you of being a cross-dresser?"

"Why??"

"I'm accusing you now."

Then he gave me the Medusa Death-Glare. I could have sworn that his hair was slithering around.... Hehe...

"Sooooo, you thinking about cutting your hair soon?"

"...Grrr...."

"Or are you gonna be Rapunelucius? (I got that off of someone else.)"

"...Grrrr..."

"What's it like with Raven? Does he punch guys who want to talk to you...?"

"_Matthew...."_

"Yes...?" This was going to be good.

"Shut.The Flux.UP."

"I thought Canas was the dark-magic user."

"That's it!!!" He stormed out. Then he came back, grabbed his things, and ran out.

Alone at last...Wait...Sain's Potion is gone!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Now Sain is walking in with his bags & things. Oh no.

"Don't tell me..."

"Oh yes, Matthew, and I'm gonna be your _worst nightmare."_

"I thought that was Serra." I smirked.

"Now I see why Lucius left."

"That's nice, Sain. But I don't really give."

"Sigh..."

"Why do you mope so?"

"You...stole...my...potion..."

"And it was a flippin' crime, how...?"

"GRRRRR."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is going to be great!!"

* * *

**Sain's POV**

This is great. Matthew's going to be torturing me all day...Well, I smell dinner. Time to go.

"Ah, Florina!" I said as I sat down. "May I favor you by sitting here?"

"Umm..okay, just don't get _too _close..."

"As you wish!"

"Ohh.."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I am not comfortable around men...remember?"

"Oh. Yes. That."

"I'm sorry....."

"Do not apologize! Here, I give you this!" I handed her a potion.

"Ummm...not to be rude, but what is it?"

"Uhh...Ilian Rum! The finest there is!"

"Well, I suppose just a few sips won't hurt me..." and he took a few small sips. She looked at me, blushed, and said,

"I'll be back for you in an hour."

Yes!

* * *

**Florina's POV**

Wow...I'm in love all of a sudden...with Sain! I am now writing him a love poem...or at least a sad excuse for one. I've finished it and am walking for Sain's tent. When I get there, I see Matthew there as well.

"Um, Matthew, is Sain here?..."

"Yes. He's putting his sack under his cot."

"Umm, Sain?" I asked. I felt dizzy and googly. "Here. I'll give you this, but I'll be back later."

And I walked out.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

I unraveled Florina's piece of parchment. This is what it said:

**A Love Potion, by Florina  
**

**I have seen people approach me before,**

**But I have not done the same to them before.**

**When I see you, I feel great,**

**Like when I try to resist it's too late.**

Ah, short but sweet!

* * *

**Me: That's right. Cliffhanger time!**

**Sain: Aw.**

**Erk: I heard you're going to publish a crossover.**

**Me: That's right. Last time I did it I put it in the wrong category.**

**Serra: Is it a FE crossover?**

**Me: Yep. R&R!**


	7. Not so sweet Slumber

**Sain: Whoohoo! --STARTS SCREAMING--**

**Erk: WHat's wrong with him?**

**Me: He's happy since I haven't update for sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long.**

**Erk: Uhhh....review response time.**

**Marquareion: You came to early. But it's ready now!**

**sessh: Yay! Thank youuu!**

**timmycheese: Uhhhhh, yeah...**

**James Worcester: Yep. The Killing Edge is cool.**

**I'm not gonna bother answering them all....I feel lazy this morning.**

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

Ahhh...Florina loves me. But, I cheated. ANd I don't realy care. Yes! Whoohoo!

And...Matthew was in the fluxing tent?!!!!

Me: Matthew! :(

Matthew: Hi.

Me: WHat are you doing!

Matthew: Staying in the tent I belong in, why do you ask?

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matthew: Idiot.

Me: --stops in midstep-- What?

Matthew: Nothing.

Me: Oh, okay. --continues to run in circles, screaming--

Matthew: Feh

* * *

.**Matthew's POV**

* * *

Okay, Sain's officially cracked in 3, 2, 1...now. I mean, Florina loves him and he's just running around in circles, screaming like a banshee. I wouldn't be surprised if half the army wakes up and throws rocks at Sain telling him to shut the flux up.

Yes! I was right!

Mysterious person: Shut up. --rock comes flying through tent flap and misses Sain--

Sain: --still screaming and running in circles--

MP: I said shut up. --throws another rock and misses again--

Sain: --still carrying on--

MP: _I said shut the flux up! _--throws in small boulder and hits Sain in the head--

Sain: X.X --KO--

MP: --Walks in--

Me: Legault? What the-

Legault: Is he asleep yet?

Me: Yeah, but he won't be for very long.

Legault: Why was he screaming in the first place?

Me: Florina likes him.

Legault: What? I thought she hated men.

Me: He's cheating.

Sain: --wakes up, looks at Legault-- What's _he _doing here?

Legault: --slaps Sain--

Sain: Ow... good riddance!

And he walked out. That was kinda dumb. Oh well.

* * *

**Sain's POV**

* * *

Owwwwwww....he slapped me.

Oh! Florina's coming!

"Sain..."

"Ah! Florina! I wasn't expecting you!"

"Yes, well, I'm sorry..."

"Sorry! DOn't be! You didn't do anything"

"Oh...well..."

"Hehe!"

"Ohhhh...."

**BOOM**

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!"

"WHat the--"

"Ack! Sain? Little help??!"

And some retarded cavelier grabbed Matthew and placed him on his horse. Then he rode out.

* * *

**Me: Cliffhanger!**

**Matthew: Crap.**

**Me: Hey! Matthew's not one of my muses!**

**Matthew: Uhhhhh...--runs--**

**Me: Read and review........................................**


	8. Captured!

**Me: Sorry for the long update. I had school. And total laziness struck yet again.**

**Erk: I sahll not do responses.**

**Me: _I_ will not do RRs.**

**Sain: Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..............**

* * *

**Sain's POV

* * *

**

I ran out grabbing my stel lance and struck the idiot cavalier right in the chest. Matthew jumped off before he hit the ground.

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

Then I felt a _whoosh _by my head. I slowly turned my head to see...

A _lance._

A **_silver _**lance.

I turned yet again to see a general. I yelped, and Matthew and I ran off. When we were far away enough, I asked Matthew,

"Should we tell the lords?"

"Yeah, okay."

We went to the lords tent. Then I madly shook Lord Hector.

"Milord! Wake up!"

"The hell-? _Sain?!"_

"Lord Hector, we're under attack!"

"What are you-"

"Hector, let's just see for ourselves," Eliwood said sleepily.

Then Lyndis got up, and we heard a shriek that _literally _woke up half the camp.

It was the tactician.

She came running out, face pale, hair mangled, and barefoot.

"Lady tactician?"

She just glared at me. She wasn't wearing her glasses, but she knew it was me.

"_Sain..."_ she growled.

"Who did this to you?" Lyn asked.

"I was like this when I fell asleep," she said angrily.

"Someone's cranky," I muttered.

She glared at me again.

"What?"

"There....is...a nomad in my tent..." she hissed.

"You sure it wasn't Rath?"

She gave me her angriest glare, eye twitching.

"Sorry."

"Anyway, he nearly shot me in the head."

"Why would he want to?"

"Well, without me, over _half _of you wouldn't know what you were doing."

"She's right," Eliwood commented.

While we were all arguing, we heard a loud thud. We turned to see the tactician lying on the ground, an arrow piercing her shoulder.

There was a nomad standing about 20 feet away from us, holding a bow and another arrow.

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

**

* * *

**

Okay, so the nomad shot Sam with an arrow, and now she's just alying on the ground. So, Eliwood told me to wake everyone up. It took me 10 minutes just to wake up Serra. So, once everyone was up, we split up to find all who was storming the camp.

I'm now with Wil and Florina, and Florina's real nervous. She's around 2 guys.

Idiot Hector just _had_ to pair us with her, and not her sisters. But she's still intoxicated.

"I want to be with Sain!" she whined.

"Too bad," I countered. When she said that, Wil just sulked.

"You, suck it up," I said. Wil glared at me.

_Wham!_

We just ran into Erk.

"Oh, we're so sorry!" It was Priscilla.

"Yeah, whatever." Then Priscilla gasped.

"Matthew, behind you!!"

I whirled around to see another cavalier, sword high in the air.

"Oh, shit."

He soon just used a stroke of his sword and put a large rip in my cloak. I just sighjed and took out the killing edge and slashed the cavalier to bits, but Florina was gone.

Oh, there she is. She on her pegsi, and spearing enemies about.

But wait, who was defending the tactician?

I ran back to the spot where she was shot.

All there was was a pool of blood.

She had been captured.

* * *

**Me: Yeah. I'm getting a little off topic. And I got a review on one of my stories. Yeah I know, all my stories are getting worse. And I'm slacking off. It's all because of school.**

**Canas: You need to focus on school. You failed your quiz on force and motion.**

**Me: WHTA???????????????? --goes to get sugar high to forget, cuz she's an A student--**

**Canas: Uhhh, yeah. Read and review.**


	9. Someone else was taken, too?

**Me: I UPDATED!! And all my muses are staring out at the first snow of the season, so tghey won't be here. Anyway, HERE'S CH.9!!!!**

* * *

**Third person POV

* * *

The tactician opened her eyes and looked around confusedly. The ground was cold, wet, and soft. The walls were lit with torches, and there were worms everywhere. But she could only see 3 feet in front of her and in those 3 feet was a myrmidon. He looked awfully familiar....**

"Guy?"

"Huh?" the myrmidon looked up. The tactician smiled.

"What are you doing here?"

"The stupid bandits captured me. I guess they did you too. Hey, what happened to your shoulder?"

The tactician felt her shoulder and saw that it was still soaked with blood. She ran her hand across it nervously.

"Uhhhhhhhhh.....yeah."

"Yeah what?" Guy raised an eyebrow. He smirked at the young tactician slyly.

"I got hit by an arrow, okay??"

Guy just started laughing.

"What??" the tactician yelled angrily. Guy stopped laughing.

"Hehe...Nothing, sorry."

* * *

**Back at camp

* * *

**

Lyn panted as she struck a bandit with the Mani Katti. "I need soem water," she said to herself. She walked into what she thought was her tent. She sifted through "her" pack and pulled out a small bottle of pink liquid.

"I must have purchased this by mistake yesterday," She muttered. "Oh well. It's here, and it looks good...." she drank the bottle in about 2 downs, she was so thirsty.

**On the field**

Sain slahed at a mage with his lance and swerved his head around to see none other than Lyn approaching. He gulped nervously and went back to killing as if he didn't do anything.

He shifted his eyes and got a better glimpse of her face. She had a dreamy twinkle in her eye and a small smile on her face. When she reached Sain, she sighed and leaned on his shoulder, one reason because she had a huge bloody slash going down her body, and second was because....

...She drank the potion.

"Ummm...milady?" Sain asked nervously. "Are....you alright?"

"Yes Sain," she replied dreamily. "I am now that I am around you."

Sain smiled. I like this, he thought.

* * *

**Underground

* * *

**

The tactician was attempting to build a fire. She didn't realize it was waaaaay too damp to build a fire. Guy was watching her with a confused look. Then the tactician realized something.

"If they're not here, can't we just leave?" she asked.

"Actually, if you look carefully, you can see an assassin gurading thre tunnel down there," Guy pointed out.

"Well, that's bullcrap!"

"SO, what's your idea?"

The tactician got an idea.

"Guy."

"What?"

"Give me your sword."

"Why???"

"Because," the tactician replied with a smirk, "we're going to tunnel our way out of here."

* * *

**Me: GASP! What will happen to the tactician and Guy??**

**Erk: They're just going to----**

**Me: SHUT UP ERK!!! --Shuts him up--**

**Erk: ....**

**Me: Review please!!**


	10. My Daughter?

**Me: Okay. I think this is my longest chapter...heeheeheeheeheh**

**Erk: She's all giddy because she got an appearance in a story called Cupid's Arrow...**

**Me: Shut it, Erk. Anyway, Read and Review.

* * *

**

**Underground

* * *

**

The tactician was shoveling the ceiling of the tunnel with Guy's sword. She looked at him.

"You gonna help me or just sit there?"

"Oh, sorry."

Guy grabbed his sword and like the tactician, started digging away at the ceiling.

And that's when the guard spotted them.

* * *

**The field

* * *

**

"Milady Lyndis!" Sain called to Lyn. "You look wounded. Please, come on my horse! I shall accompany you!"

"Okay, Sain...." Lyn said dreamily. She hopped onto Sain's horse as Sain turned and faced a knight. He charged at him with his lance.

SPLAT!!!

There was a loud splatter as the knight fell in his own blood.

Suddenly a druid moved up to Sain and Lyndis, a Nosferatu Tome in his hand. Sain, having such crappy resistance (I mean, I think that's what he has in my game....), decided to take action before the guy even started chanting the spell. He looked up to see Sain screaming a battle cry.

"Oh great-"

BAM! That's when Sain's horse blundered, just trampling over the guy instead of skewering him.

"What the hell???" he and Lyndis turned to see a druid twitching on the ground. But it wasn't any old druid.

"Sain!! What did you do that for???" the druid took off his hood, having to put it on for some reason or another.

"Canas??" yelled Lyn and Sain. After he got up, he began to dust himself off. Sain fell off his horse in shock, while Lyn bursted into a giggling fit.

"You mean you didn't know who I was?" Canas quirked an eyebrow.

"Hell no!!" screamed Sain, exasperated. "It's the middle of the freakin' night!!!!"

Canas looked at him coolly. "Alright fine, no need to yell...."

Sain just looked at him angrily. "Well....well...NYEH!!" Sain made a face at him.

"Nyeh." Canas did the same.

* * *

**Underground

* * *

**

Sam (That's the tactician from here on in) was still digging at the ceiling, Guy having joined her. They were going at a steady pace, aout half the ceiling dug away.The guard was silently trotting toward them, killing edge in hand. He ran up to them unnoticed and grabbed the tactician by her cape, holding the sword to her throat.

"Hey you," he said gruffly, but quietly.

Guy continued to dig.

"Hello!" he said a little louder.

Guy continued to dig.

"**_GUY YOU MORON, QUIT DIGGING AND LOOK AT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!"_**

"Huh?"

"Do you hear me??" the assassin asked.

"Loud n clear."

"Now, either you stop digging, or your little daughter gets beheaded.

"DAUGHTER????" both yelled.

"You've GOT to be KIDDING."

"My Daughter???? Yeah right!!!"

"He's too young!!!"

"She's too.....um..."

"Girly!"

"Yeah!!"

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT."

"Oh...sorry..."

"Also, he's too stupid."

''Hey!!''

"Still, quit digging or the short kid dies."

"SHORT?" Sam asked, insulted. "I'll have you know I'm 12 years old, and I'm five foot one!!"

"Just quit digging..." he put a slit in her throat.

"Ouchies..."

"Hey!"

"Guy, keep digging. No one cares about a 12-year old who ties a blankie around her neck."

"...Blankie?"

Sam blinked. "Uhhhh....I didn't say that. If I DID, you two are SO. DEAD. Got it?"

"Uhhh...sure."

"Sounds good to me."

"Good." Sam said sweetly. "Now then, hurry up and kill me."

"Okay." The assassin lifted his sword to stab her.

* * *

**Me: Okay, if that's not long sue me.**

**Erk: Okay. --Takes out cell phone--**

**Me: I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!**

**Canas: Read and review...ow...**


	11. Dirt Crater

**Me: Sorry for the long update. I shall now do Ch.10 review responses!! **

**K-Girl: I dunno. To add to the SUSPENSE. . . **

**Lemurian-04: Awww, thankies! You've made a little kid happeh.**

**Katelynn: Yep. Stupid pretty much sums it up.**

**Nightmare: IT WAS LONGER!! WHOOHOO!! --Starts singing 'Banana Phone'--**

**Erk: Erm....just read while I rid her mind of Banana Phone...whatever that is....

* * *

**

The assassin lifted his sword to stab the poor tactician, when her hand just came up and docked him in the face.

"OW!" he yelled, letting go of her. She ran to Guy and hid behind him.

"You. HELP." Sam muttered.

"Why?" Guy hissed.

"Cause I'm the tactician. You know that."

"But-"

"NO."

"Fine....." Guy brandished his Killing Edge. He did his backflip, split into three, and slashed the assassin into little tiny butterflies. Suddenly, dirt crumbled from the ceiling. Soon enough, the two were buried in dirt.

* * *

Lyn looked at Sain longingly as he buried his lance into a mage's skull.

"Milady?"

"Yes?"

"Aren't you distracted by the gore?"

"Nope."

"Elimine...."

"WHAT??? Do you love HER now?? I thought you loved ME!!!" Lyn burst in to tears.

Sain slapped his forehead in frustration until he saw a giant hole in the ground a few feet away from him. Then dust and coughs began to kick up. At this point a man with a red cloak and hood ran up to Sain. Apparently it was the enemy's tactician. He had jet-black hair, and looked to be about 13 or 14. He was quite tall as well.

"What's going on here??" he shouted. "I saw some dirt kick up, followed by a huge crater!"

"We saw it too." Sain looked at Lyn. "Well, _I_ saw it...just who are you anyway?"

"Oh, my name is Martin. I'm the tactician for....well, not you guys." At THIS point Canas ran up.

"Did you three-"

"YES."

"Sob cry sob"

"Urm....."

"Oh, forget it!!!!" Sain ran over to the crater only to find someone else digging there.

"Kent, I was gonna do that!!!!!!!" yelled Sain.

Kent looked up. "Well, you could always help!" as he flung the dirt, Sain could see he was digging we his lance.

At THIS point in time Karel ran up.

"Did-"

"YES!!"

Karel scowled at them all--well, until two hands appeared out of the dirt.

"AAH!" they all screamed. Kent grabbed on to te hand in front of him and surprise!! Guy was pulled out. He coughed some dirt out of his throat before gasping for air.

"....Guy??" Kent asked in disbelief.

Sain pulled the next person out. It was Sam. Her glasses were covered in dirt.

"AAH!!" she yelled. "Who's there??"

"It's me, Sa-"

"WHAT?? Who?? Where are you?? AAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Martin raised an eyebrow at Eliwood's army's....weirdosity.

"Listen, since our army is fading fast, mind if I join you?" Martin asked.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!!! Whozzat????" Sam asked.

"....That's Martin, the new co-tactician!" Sain announced.

* * *

**Me: Well, that's Ch.11!! Hope y'all enjoyed it!!**

**Canas: Where am I in this? Oops, never mind....**

**Erk: Read and review or I'll get Pent in here....**

**Readers: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! WE SHALL REVIEW!!!!**


	12. Narcolepsy

**Me: It's time for....REVIEW RESPONSES!!!!!!!1!1!!**

**randomguy: I am. I will.**

**katelynnn: I dunno. Do you WANT to steal stuff?**

**Ragnarok-Legend: Yeah, I understand. And yes, I AM the best. And self-absorbed. XD XD XD XD XD**

**Nightmare: Don't worry. Since you reviewed, I won't sic Pent on you. **

**K-Gforever: Yeah, Wordpad doesn't have spellcheck. And 'docked' is how I say socked. :P**

**And for all of you who didn't review.....**

**--Pulls Pent out of supply closet--**

**Pent: ELFIRE!!!**

**Not-reviewers: OH CRAP!!!! WE'RE ON FI-RE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

**

Martin raised a questioning eyebrow at Sain.

"Co-tactician?" he asked. Couldn't you consult with your leader first?"

"We SHOULD have a new tactician. I mean, she's tactical, but she's crazy."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at her."

Sam was sticking her finger in her mouth, then feeling around for something. When she touched a pair of blue clothes (she couldn't see what color they were), she took her finger out of her mouth and, fortunately, stuck it in the person's left ear.

_Un_fortunately, the person happened to be Karel.

"WET WILLY!!!!!" she squealed.

Karel yanked her finger out of his ear, and glared at her, showing sharp, demon-like teeth. He brandished his sword. Hearing this, the tactician took off running, Karel at her heels.

"GET BACK HERE!!!" he screamed.

At that, the tactician stumbled and fell--

Right into the lake.

This washed away the dried up blood, which started bleeding again, but it did wash all the dirt off Sam's glasses, enabling her to see. Then she saw Karel leaping directly above her in the moonlight.

"EEK!!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

The tactician dunked underwater, and Karel fell into the lake directly above her. He too was under water, swiping his sword. It was pretty slow, considering they were underwater. The tactician felt she needed air, so she swam up, clouding the water with blood. Then she walked up to shore, ran, and hid behind Martin.

Karel ran toward Martin.

Martin yelped and hid behind the tactician. The tactician hid behind Martin again.

"Would you stop??" the new tactician yelled.

"Sorry!" sam yelled, right in Martin's ear.

"DOWN, Karel," alled a voice. Karel turned around to see Lyn walking toward him.

"Oh, crap...."

"KAREL, GET OVER HERE!!!" screamed Lyn. Sain stared.

"DAMMIT!!" he yelled. "The potion wore off!!"

"What potion?" Martin and sam asked at the same time.

"Errr....nothing." Sain replied quickly. And with that he ran off.

"Lemme introduce you to the army," Sam said after a moment of silence.

"That woukd be nice....."

"First off, this is Lyndis, Hector, and Eliwood." she pointed to them, all playing cards having defeated the enemy.

"Errr...."

"And this is our outlandish pervert, Sain, and his MUCH more sensible partner Kent. Here we have Karel-" Lyn had him tied to their poker table-"the sword demon. This is Canas, our shaman." she smiled. "This is Erk, the mage, and Serra the pink-haired demon, and....."

At that point, she fell asleep.

Martin looked at her wide-eyed.

"Something's wrong with her!!!" he yelled.

"Nah," Eliwood said, walking up to the new tactician. "It's either narcolepsy or unconciousness. Speaking of which, BED, NOW."

Worried of Eliwood's so-called 'power', Martin ran into his tent for a good night's sleep.

* * *

**Me: Errr..yay? --ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ--**

**Erk: You know the drill. Review or Pent burns you.**

**Non-reviewers: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! IT HUUURRRRRRRRRRRTSSSSSSS!!!!!!**


	13. SAINY!

**I do NOT feel like this right now, k? So on with the story.**

**Erk: Yeah but-**

**What did I just say?

* * *

Lyn looked up at MArtin. She nodded. "You get to drag her." Martin sighed and looked at the sleeping, twitching tactician. "Fine..." he sighed. He grabbed her by the arms and dragged her off towards the tent...**

* * *

Meanwhile...

* * *

Serra was on her way to her tent when she saw an oh-so-convinient bottle of pink rum sitting on the poker table. KArel, still tied to it, muttered, "WHat are you doing?"

"I'm thirsty. I want a drink."

Karel sighed. "Fine."

And with that, Serra took a long swig.

MArtin was still pulling the tactician unto her now twice-as-full tent (MArtin had to move in there, too) and he looked at her side more examiningly. It was pink...and girly...and it had Slipknot and Avril Lavigne posters all over the place. He walked to her bed and dropped her. When he turned around, he saw Serra tearing through everyone and towards Sain. That's weird, he thought...

"SAINY!"

Serra was charging at an unsuspecting Sain. Well, he WAS unsuspecting until Serra was 10 feet away from him. He turned around and yelped in pure terror.

And then she jumped on him.

"Serra!" he cried. "Get off me! Kent! HELP!"

"No," Kent called. "It serves you right..."

"Crap!"

As Serra glomped him, Karel was about 15 feet away and saw the whole thing. "HELLO!" he yelled. Serra stared at him before walking over and bopping him on the head.

"Ow..."

"SAINY!"

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

"Hello?" Nino suddenly yelled from nowhere. "Children are present!"

And then a pterodactyl came down and ate Nino. (A/N: Sorry, I hate Nino. ;;;)

Syddenly, as Jaffar was killing Leila, he felt something was terribly wrong with the world...

Martin walked over to Serra and bravely pulled her off Sain. Serra was clawing at him, but he managed to keep a hold on her as he threw her into her tent.

Sain ran up and hugged him.

"You're my hero! How can I ever repay you?"

"...Let me breathe...?"

"Okay!" Sain dropped him and ran off.

"Errrr..."

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Serra screamed from her tent. "I want Sainy!''

MArtin pulled out a Sain doll (don't ask) from his pocket, and tossed it into Serra tent and ran off like it was a grenade.

But it sure reacted like one.

"SAINY!"

MAtin heard the plushie rip into a billion pieces and turned to see Serra ripping out.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

**Me: Dah dah DAAAAAHHHHH!**

**Martin-Ish running-**

**Me: Sorry it's so short. RR everyone!**


	14. Sami Levaes the Group and Martin takes c...

**Yay! I'm back! Over a month, man, it feels good!**

**Everyone: BOOOOOOOO!**

**REVIEWZ**

**redhoundarchon---Bows deeply back-- Thanks a lot for your support!**

**Ghost of Erk- Yeah, shortness seems to be my thing...typos too.**

**K-G Forever- Well if you need any help with that go ahead and email me...**

**Ragnarok-Legend- Because...I made it up! Nyeh! Xp**

**Thanks to all you nice reviewers!

* * *

**

Serra had just tackled Martin to the ground.

"I WANT SAINY!" she screamed, foaming at the mouth. "WHERE IS HE!"

"Find him yourself!" yelled Martin. "'Cause I don't know!"

Serra, at this point, charged away to go find Sain. Martin got up and dusted himself off.

"That was random..." he muttered.

Sain was walking through the forest, trying to hide, when he heard owls hooting, animals getting out of the way, and bushes being ripped through. He turned to see the pink-haired menace charging toward him with demon-like eyes.

"EEK!" Sain squealed girlighly as he was glomped.

Karel had been re-tied to the poker table, and his eyes perked up like a dog when he heard a high-pitched yell. Then he shurugged and ate a rock.

Weird.

* * *

Anyways, Sain was being tortured by Serra, when Martin threw a pink vile into the forest. Sain realized it right off the bat. He thought he'd drink it so Serra couldn't get it. He popped the top off the bottle and drank it. Thr first thing he saw... 

Martin! O.O

Sain got all googly at him before pushing Serra off of him and running after Martin. Martin raised an eyebrow before taking off running.

"HEY! WAIT UP!" yelled Sain.

"THIS AIN'T A YAOI FIC!" Martin yelled back.

"I DUN CARE!" Sain yelled back.

Serra stared at them. Then she got angry.

"Sainy...

MUST...

HAVE...

REVENGE!''

And then an evil plan/plot began forming in her mind.

She laughed maliciously.

She coughed a hairball. O.o

* * *

0o0

* * *

In the morning, Sami came out of her tent with a bag slung over her shoulder. 

"What's that for, Sami?" asked Eliwood. Everyone began to crowd around.

Sami sighed.

"I'm leaving the group," she announced. A few people gasped. A whoo-hoo was heard from Erk.

"But-but why?" a few people questioned. Sain waddled by and fell over.

"Well, that's _one_ reason..." she stated. "That, and some people haven't been getting experience, and SOMEONE has been hogging it all..." she rolled her eyes. "Also, I'm traveling with my friends, and Martin has beaten the--I mean, he'll be better for yall." and with that, she turned on her heel and walked off the trail, to her future or fate.

When she was out of everyone's field of vision, Hector gave Martin a hearty slap on the back. "Congrats, Martin! You're being promoted!"

"Promoted from what, may I ask?" asked Martin.

"From co-tactician to tactician-in-command!" the lord replied.

Martin looked and beamed. Tactician-in-command? What an honor!...

Meanwhile, everyone's favorite swordsmaster was all alone, tied to an abandoned poker table... (he'll be back later...)

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**Ta-da! All done! Yep, I got rid of Sami because I was being a little self-absorbed. **

**Everyone cheers**

**Anyway, read and review!**


	15. Untying a Rope

**Thanks to Ragnarok-Legend, K-Gforever, Claen'tor Shat'kin'ara and fire-emblem-girl for reviewing!

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**

Martin took a breath and thought for a moment. What would be is first order of business. He took a deep breath, but let go when he couldn't think of much. It was morning. He was dang tired. He sighed.

Sain looked at him narrowing his eyes.

"...What?" asked Martin nervously.

"I'm on to you," Sain hissed. Martin's eyes darted back and forth nervously.

"Ooo-kay then," he said. He laughed. _Weird guy, that Sain..._

He turned to Hector. "I know I've done this before, but I don't know if you guys do it differently. Um...I'm going to do this my way, and just let me know if I can change."

Hector smiled. "Eh, do it however ya want. Just let us hear you."

Martin smiled.

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Karla was walking along, talking to Lyn, when her ears perked up. "...Lyn?"

"Yes?" Lyn replied.

"...Are we forgetting something?..." she looked up. "Oh my god! My brother! He's still tied to the poker table! Ohgodohgod..." she fanned herself.

"Karla, calm down!" Lyn said. "I'll tell everyone, and we'll go back and getting him."

"HEY GUYS!" screamed Karla. Everyone looked back at her.

"...What?"

"Karel's tied to that frickin' poker table you guys forgot!"

"I KNEW we were forgetting something," said Hector.

"Karel?"

"NO! The poker table!" Karla anime fell.

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Later...

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"Karel?" Eliwood asked, crouching on the leg of the poker table at the old campsite.

Karel was chewing and ripping at a rat.

"Wha?" asked Karel, mouth full of rat.

Everyone twitched.

"...What's with the rat?"

"I was hungry! And restrained!"

Eliwood's eyebrow slowly lowered. Karel's clothes were stained in rt blood.

"Someone untie the maniac..." Eliwood said.

Everyone took a step back.

"Let's draw straws," Martin said holding some straws in the air.

Poor Canas. He got stuck with the shortest straw. He stepped closer ever-so-slowly as if he was handling a rabid dog.

"...Nice boy..." he said quietly. His hand touched the rope. So far so good. His other hand slowly reached for the knot as he carefully tugged at it. Soon he grew frantic as Karel began to turn around. Soon the knot was very loose, and he jumped back as Karel snapped at him, releasing the rest of the rope.

Karel shot off like a rocket.

Canas sighed, took off his monacle, and wiped it with his cape before placing it back on his eye.

"Job well done?" he asked.

Everyone sighed and started back off.

**Sorry it;s short, but it's prgress, right? Read and review everyone!**


	16. Almost Found Out

**Thanks to arashisama, FIREEMBLEMFREAK252, K-GForever, Darknal and Claen'tor Shat'kin'ara for reviewing!**

**Here's to my 1000th hit!**

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After that totally random moment, everyone continued walking.

Sain, on his horse, cleared his throat. "Anyone thirsty?" he asked curiously.

Half the men and half the women raised their hands.

"Men, I'm not talking about you." several of the men cursed, grumbled, and lowered their hands.

The women kept their hands raised.

"Hm...only a few bottles left. I'll have to be wise about who I give them to..." he thought. He pulled a few bottles out of his satchel.

"Who wants some?" the women raised their hands higher, sweatdropping.

Hm... Sain looked around. Fiora was one of the people raising their hands.

He tossed her a bottle.

Matthew was staring at Sain suspiciously.

He smirked.

"Hey everyone!" Matthew yelled. Everyone turned to him.

"I know something you people don't know about those drinks!"

Sain gasped in shock. He was on the other side of the group.

Damn! He thought. He's going to tell...unless...

"Those drinks...they're love potio—"

Sain had tackled him to the ground before he could say anything more. He pinned him to the ground, pounding his head on the dirt trail.

"Don't—" smack, "even—" smack, "think—" smack, "about—" smack, "it—" smack!

"Stop it!" Martin yelled, trying to break the two apart.

"GAHH!" yelled Sain, like a wild dog.

But it was too late. Fiora was intoxicated, again.

"Sain..."

"Y-Yes?" Sain asked, standing up.

"...Would you like to ride on my pegasus with me?"

"...Why, of course!"

Matthew sweatdropleted, attempting to tackle Sain to the ground, but Hector grabbed him by the arm in the nick of time.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Hector asked.

"Dammit!" cursed Matthew. "I almost had him! Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

"Watch your language."

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**Sorry for the short chapter! Anticlimactic, too! I had better inspiration when school was in session...maybe being bored in class will give me inspiration, I mean, school starts exactly three weeks from today! Anyway, read and review! Please!**


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